Without a doubt, becoming a mother was the best thing that could have happened to me. I had my daughter and she helped me realize that I needed to change. I had no real purpose before her. I bounced around from job to job and while I was nice, I had a really short fuse and showed it. In the months following the birth of Little P, I was able to look at myself and things I wanted to change in my life and finally make those changes.
I don’t think babies are a cure for your life troubles. They’re not a BandAid to fix a relationship or to turn you into a better person. I did not have my daughter and then magically become who I’ve always wanted to be. I still have numerous flaws and I’m still working to maintain the positive changes that I have made. It took me a month (possibly even two or three) to recognize that it was finally time for me to be more than I felt I was.
I’ve become more understanding since becoming a mother. It was easy for me to feel like I was understanding before. Sure, I understood that you had a bad day or maybe the dog didn’t quite understand what I was trying to get him to do, but it was so easy for me to snap and get angry even though I “understood” what was going on with the other person.
Since having Little P, I get it. It’s not a baby’s fault that the only way they can express things is by crying. It’s not always a person’s fault if they’re snapping at people either. As adults, we should know not to snap at people if they didn’t do anything wrong, but it’s also bound to happen because we’re not perfect.
I have also noticed that I tend to take my frustrations out on other people. I’m learning to watch the tone in my voice and learning not to just lash out at people. I want my daughter to be able to have pleasant interactions with people even if she isn’t in the best of moods. I want to be able to model that behavior for her.
Being a mother has made me both more determined and more flexible. Am I going to get her to stop crying? You’re damn right. I’m also going to help her however she needs. If my feet hurt but she wants me to walk her around, then I guess we’re walking. It seems like a given applying it to my child, but the same goes with other things. My husband in a bad mood and I want to cheer him up? Guess what honey? You’re going to be in a great mood, but what do you need me to do to help you get there? Am I going to get the dishes done? Yes. Will it be now? Maybe not, Little P needs attention right now and that’s fine.
Becoming a mother has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. It is an eye-opening experience (as I’m sure becoming a father is). For me, it has helped me make changes to myself so I can be better for my daughter. This has become an opportunity to not only watch how my daughter grows and prospers but to see how I have also grown throughout the months and years.
I want to reiterate that having a child is not a magical fix all for any problems. It’s not a baby’s responsibility to make your life better. This is just a personal account of how having a child inspired me to become something more.
So, what are your thoughts? Did having a baby inspire you to make any changes in your life or make you more aware of some less positive aspects of your personality?