Parenting, Postpartum and Beyond

Why Babies are Terrible

Babies have a reputation of being cute and innocent. They’re small and they don’t know anything. Don’t let this reputation fool you though. They are really adorable little terrors. They come into your life and they turn everything upside down. Today we are going to take a look at why babies are actually the worst.

They’re freeloaders

They come into your house (sometimes they’re late and other times they’re early. Hello?! Have they heard of the due date?) and then they start demanding things from you. They want food, they want to be held, and they can’t even wipe themselves after they go to the bathroom? If they’re not sleeping they want something of yours. They don’t even understand the concept of money, so it’s just a waste of time trying to get their cut of the rent from them.

Poor communication skills

The only thing they know how to do is cry. They don’t know any language at all. So how does a baby tell you what they need you ask? They cry at you. When they’re brand new it’s all the same cry too. Are they hungry? Tired? Wet themselves? Who knows? Just that baby and they’re not making it any easier on you. I don’t want to accuse people of things, but I’m pretty sure they’re doing it on purpose.

Grabbing

What’s up with this? They see something and they just reach they’re little hands out for it. Phones, glasses, remotes, hair, just your face, it doesn’t matter. Nothing is safe anymore. What happens if they get a hold of it you ask? Well, they’re probably going to put it right in their mouth or they will manage to break it. My daughter once tried to eat my chin once. So, if you thought your face was safe, you were wrong.

Claws

You thought babies had regular finger and toe nails? Oh, no. They have little tiny claws that grow back quickly. Babies can be fast, so you’re never safe from a scratch or them digging into your skin. Cutting those things are hard too. They’re so curious with what you’re doing that they don’t sit still. Your best bet is to try and do it while they’re asleep and hope you don’t wake them. Be careful, if you cut them, you’ll not only feel terrible, but they’ll cry and cry because of it.

Sleep

For something that loves sleep (they need so much of it), they absolutely hate going to bed. They’re probably going to fight it. They can rub and rub at their little eyes, get caught sleeping sitting up, and still refuse to go to bed. They have a serious fear of missing out.

Another thing, they wake up early! If you think you’re getting a later day because the baby was up later, you’re probably wrong. Somehow the late night means they require less sleep and they’ll be up even earlier to wake you up!

Adrenaline Junkie

They have absolutely no concept of what is and isn’t dangerous? Electric plug, better grab and put my fingers in this. Large heavy objects? Better pull and try and stand on/against this. What is this? Put it in my mouth. You can’t even trust them sleeping. Babies are just constantly looking for their next adventure and don’t you even try to tell them no. You try and keep them from danger and they’re going to cry at you.

Personal Space

They have no concept of this. You need to get used to someone wanting to be by you constantly. Did I say by? I meant on top of you. They love to climb and be held by you. That is unless they’re trying to get their adrenaline fix. Your options as parent are now be a jungle gym, a bed, or following them around the house as they find dangerous objects or dirt.

So, there you have it. Those are a few of my reasons why babies are the worst.

I should also make it clear that I’m joking.

Babies do have a habit of unintentionally being the worst though. What are a few quirks that you notice babies do that you would add to this list? Also, let me know what you guys thought of the post. I needed something a little more lighthearted today.

If you did enjoy this post, you’ll probably also enjoy Why Pregnancy Sucks! Go take a look and let me know why you think pregnancy sucks!

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6 thoughts on “Why Babies are Terrible”

  1. Babies can be the worst! They are always there, always needing mom and dad, and always immediately wanting whatever you do not want them to have. But, despite them being little angels in disguise, we love ’em anyway!

    Like

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