Mental Health

How to Be Kinder to Yourself

Do you notice how mean and critical we can be to ourselves? When other people make a mistake I am much more understanding and patient with them than I am with myself when I make a mistake. Having some self compassion is a really important part of self-care and, in my opinion, it can get really overlooked. Let’s take a look at some of the ways that we can all be a little kinder to ourselves.

Celebrate Yourself

Celebrate the things that you accomplish. You’re doing great things every day. Recognize those accomplishments and congratulate yourself on them! Even if you’re having a bad day and you feel like all you did was mess up all day. Pick something you did. Recognize that you tried and let yourself know that it’s a good thing.

Nurture Your Advocate

You’re probably really familiar with your self critic. They’re the ones coming in with mean words and judgement. How familiar are you with the nicer voice in your head though. Now, don’t get me wrong, the critic can be very motivating, but they can also really bring you down. So, make sure you’re also saying nice, positive things to yourself. You probably won’t be able to completely shut your critic up and like I said, it can be helpful. So, when that voice stops being helpful to you, it’s time to become your advocate. Respond to the critic with kind words about yourself. Keep at it.

Forgive Yourself

We all make mistakes. Start forgiving yourself for yours. Failures and mistakes are apart of life. You wouldn’t berate a child (or even a friend) constantly for the mistakes that they’ve made. You forgive them, teach them, and help them move on. Start doing that with yourself! This isn’t the first mistake you’ve made and it won’t be the last. It’s okay. You’ll get better.

Treat Yourself

You don’t need to break the bank to treat yourself. Grab your go to comfort item and take a breather. Especially after a hard day. Just give yourself the opportunity to relax. Take a bath, grab a book, listen to that song that lifts you up. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself to some retail therapy as well. Just don’t overspend if you can’t afford it quite yet.

Take a Break

If you’re able to, take a mental health day. Put everything not essential on hold for the day or even an hour. Do something that you enjoy. Be kind to yourself during that time. Recharge and prepare to tackle whatever it was that was bringing you down in the first place. It’s okay to take a breather every once in a while.


Being kinder to yourself is such an important part of self care and is so easily missed. I hope this helps you be kinder to yourself! This was especially important for me to write because I was being extra hard on myself and I also needed the reminder to be nicer.

Let me know what you think! Are you guilty of being meaner to yourself than you should be?

Thank you so much for stopping by and I’ll see you next time.

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Mental Health

The Benefits of a Daily Routine

If you’re a parent, I’m sure you know that a routine is really good for your baby. It’s a lot easier to plan out your day if you now little one is going to be hungry or sleepy around a certain time. Were you aware that structuring a routine for your day will also benefit you?

As a person with bipolar disorder, a routine is especially important for me. However, it wasn’t until I had my daughter that I really got serious about a daily routine. Now that I have one, both me and my daughter are having much better days! I’m better at detecting reasons why my daughter is in a certain mood and I’m feeling more stable and am noticing changes in my mood better as well. So, today, let’s take a look at why a routine is good for everyone.


More Productive

You are going to be one of those people who gets all their work done, cooks healthy dinner, and goes to the gym! All right, maybe not right away. If you create a routine and stick to it, things will start becoming second nature. Plus, if you schedule out a chunk of time to do something, you’re more likely to do it and not procrastinate. Of course, things in life can always come up, but just structuring your day is the first step in helping you get all those things done!

Self-Care

When you create a routine you are helping to prioritize self-care. You aren’t going to schedule out your day and not include times to shower, relax, (and hopefully) exercise. There have been times in my life where everything got away from me. I was so wound up and busy taking care of everyone else, that I wasn’t taking care of myself. I finally took a shower and while I was still stressed, just being clean made me feel like I could keep going. A routine helps me take care of me and still take care of my family.

Good Habits

I want to be the kind of person who wakes up early, has some time to themselves for a few minutes, and then gets my kid up and ready for her day. I also want to exercise and meditate every day. When I was just “winging” my days, I never had time to do those things. I was also relying on my daughter to wake me up because I was staying up later than I should to fit in all the things I didn’t get to while she was awake.


Scheduling my days, I realize I have time to do those things during the day. I may not be at the point where my day is thrown off if I do skip an exercise day, but I’m beginning to plant those seeds and am beginning to create all those positive changes that I want.

Healthy Sleeping Habits

Sleep is so important for our bodies. When you start getting a consistent sleeping routine, your body just naturally takes to it. We’ve all had those days, when you’re supposed to be off of work, but your body missed the memo and wakes you up anyway. With a routine, you (and your body) know when to sleep and when to wake up. You’re probably also adding in some much needed relaxation before bed as well. So, getting to sleep can be easier and you should be sleeping better as well.

Reduces Stress. Increase Relaxation.

You no longer have to worry about scheduling out your hectic days right when you get up. You’re not scrambling around trying to get everything done and then somehow getting nothing done at the end of the day. Now, you have an idea of when (and how) you’re going to get everything done.

When everything is flowing and you’re going through your routine, you’re also helping yourself relax. You can minimize a lot of “what do I have to do next?” and the stress associated with that. Now, it might just be me, but seeing all of my accomplishments during the day makes me way more calm and relaxed at the end of the night.


There are some of the ways that getting yourself on a routine can help you! If you’re feeling down or in general just want to make some positive changes in yourself, start a routine! Do you already have a routine going or are you planning to start one? Let me know how you like or dislike it.

Thank you so much for stopping by! I’ll see you next time.

Mental Health

Mental Health: My Beginnings

So, last week I opened up a bit about having bipolar disorder and how I want to be more open about it for my daughter (and for myself as well). We are going to dive into that a little bit more today.

There are a number of different factors that cause a person to become bipolar. Biological differences, genetics, etc. I believe exact causes are still relatively unknown. I know stressful and/or traumatic experiences can trigger that first bipolar episode. Today, we are going to discuss the events that I believe caused me to become bipolar.

Probable trigger warning for the rest of this post. Whether or not you read my story and experience, please, if you need help, skip to the very end where I have linked some websites that may be of assistance to you.


When I was 17, I entered into an incredibly unhealthy relationship. He cheated for, what I can only assume was, the entirety of our relationship. He was emotionally abusive and manipulative. The summer I turned 18, I got pregnant. Being young and “in love” he was able to convince me to not tell my parents. I went to college. He joined the military.

I spent seven months of my college career essentially alone and hiding a pregnancy. We obviously had no plan to keep the baby seeing as we were the only two people that knew about it. In March, I started going into labor. At least, I was in so much pain I could only assume I was going into labor. I was in my dorm room. I texted my friend and asked for a ride to the hospital. I checked myself in. They ran my blood, took an ultrasound, and then a nurse collected me. I remember her being very rude. I was scared and didn’t know what was going on, but I remember so clearly her going, “do you know your 40 weeks pregnant?”

I was brought into a room where nurses checked on me and they brought in a social worker to assist me in beginning the adoption process. The doctor/nurses and I decided the best option would be to do a C-section. So, once we were able to, I was brought into a room and we delivered my baby. She stayed in the NICU and I went to visit her all day, every day, for the three or four days I was there.

I didn’t tell anyone I was in the hospital. My boyfriend, although I think he was my fiance at that point, was doing training and didn’t have his phone. When I was discharged, I told everyone it was my appendix because I had to keep the lie going.

It was in those following months that I noticed the changes in behavior. There were days when I didn’t get out of bed and barely ate. I could keep track of the number of showers I had on one hand. I isolated myself even more than I already had because of all the lies and secrecy.

Then, I was up. I had probably taken too many of the pain medication that I was prescribed and feeling good. I reconnected with my friends and was on top of all my school work. I could do anything and everything.

Sometime during all this me and that boy broke up for good. I had a low period and finally arrived at a place where I felt like me, regular old me. It was at this point that I realized that I needed help. I knew I wasn’t doing well, so I found a therapist and I went to them. That’s when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

We had a few sessions, but I ended up moving back home before any real work could be done. Since then I haven’t been able to start therapy back up and start working on treatments for myself. On a positive note, that will be changing after I find a doctor. I’ve already been looking to find people who I think is a good fit for me.

So, I’m not really sure how to end this post. It was a lot harder to get through than I expected it to be. Which is ridiculous because I don’t talk about that time in my life often, so of course, it would be difficult to completely open up like that.

The only thing I can think of is to tell you that no matter what you’re going through, there is someone who can help you. You are not alone.


Lifeline Crisis chat:
Lifeline Crisis Chat

Information on abusive relationships:
How to tell if you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Leaving an emotionally abusive relationship

Information on helping others in abusive relationships:
Supporting someone in an abusive relationship
Helping loved ones in an emotionally abusive relationship

Mental Health

Mental Health: A Journey

Today we’re going to talk about something a little bit different, mental health. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was in college. This was back in 2013. Since then, I’ve been in and out of different doctor’s offices. So, I haven’t gotten the proper care and treatment I should be getting. This is also something I’ve talked about openly twice, well three times. Once was to my husband, second was in a group chat specifically geared towards mental health, and the third is now.

It’s been so long since I’ve genuinely talked to a psychiatrist or even a regular doctor about my mental health concerns. So, it’s possible that I could have been misdiagnosed all those years ago. However, I’m operating under the assumption that it was a correct diagnosis.

The reason I wanted to talk about this today is because it’s important. It’s important to seek help when you need it. I also feel myself slipping into a depression. This is when I tend to be more serious about seeking help for myself.

Another reason I want to be so open about this is because of my daughter. I didn’t have an open relationship with my parents. I’m not sure why, but I never really felt like I could go to them with things. I don’t feel like I can open up to anyone really. I get physically uncomfortable when I share things really personal to me to anyone.

My husband is also one of those people who thinks that if someone wants to be happy, then they should choose to be happy instead of sad. Despite him thinking this, when I told him I was bipolar, he didn’t tell me to just be happy. Since then he’s also been more understanding of my moods. So, we’re working on his attitudes with mental health.

My point here is, I don’t want my daughter to grow up and live feeling she can’t open up about things. So, I’m starting to try and be open. Where else is she supposed to learn if my husband and I don’t model the behavior?

If you have any concerns regarding your mental health, please find someone to help you. I know (in America at least), that this can be very hard. Some people don’t have health insurance or your health insurance doesn’t cover therapy (or it’s just too expensive). If this is the case for you, please reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). Their national hotline is 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

You’re not alone. There are people feeling similarly to you.
There are also people who can help.

Let me know what you think. I’m sorry if this post seemed a bit scattered. My thought process was quite literally “mental health, share”. So, thank you for sticking through this.

Thank you for stopping by and I will see you next time.

SAMHSA. “National Helpline”. http://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

Challenges

Weekly Self Check Up

All right, Venturers, for this weeks challenge I did a mental check-in every day. I try to take my mental health very seriously. I have a bunch of self care things that I try to keep up with doing. Keeping track of my mood and recognizing the reasons I feel things is one of the number one things that I want to make apart of my daily routine.

So, this week I used an app called Youper. It’s an AI that asks you how you’re feeling, why you’re feeling that way, and then you can dive into why you’re feeling that way, or do some other tasks. My goal this week, was to note my mood, state what was contributing to my mood, and then follow any suggestions from the AI. In general, this was just notating the specifics of why I was feeling a certain way, kind of like a diary.

I’m proud to say that I was able to check-in with myself every single day. It’s actually really easy to find the time to notate how I was feeling every day. If Little P is fussing, I could still hold and comfort her while inputting how I was feeling.

On top of how easy it was, it was nice being able to get stuff off of my chest. Sometimes I don’t like complaining about things because it’s small and I know how small it is, but I still like being able to just complain about it. I got to write out how I was feeling and then move on.

I don’t necessarily feel any better, but it’s nice learning my triggers. I feel more in tune with myself now than I ever had in my life. Now, I wish I could just do this in a journal. I really like physically writing out how I’m doing and what happened that day, but for some reason I can’t keep up with it like that. There’s something about it being in app form that helps me keep up with it.