Updates

Six Month Update

Here we are at six months, sort of. You were born on August 29th, so I wasn’t quite sure what to do with this month, but I knew I wasn’t missing it (or postponing it). So here we are, a whole half year since you were born.

I am so incredibly proud and amazed at how far Little P has come. Thinking about each month and how she’s grown and changed baffles me, even more, this month than it did last month!

At this point, Little P is getting her two bottom teeth in. I can see them poking through. We’re so excited for them to come all the way out. I’m excited to see what she looks like. Does that seem strange? I know she’ll still look like herself, but she’s going to have some teeth now! How adorable.

She is reaching for everything. Everything. What is that? She doesn’t know, but she wants it, and she would like to try and eat it. Thank you very much. You wouldn’t think that someone constantly trying to grab things out of your hand, or staring at you while you eat, and then trying to grab the food out of your hands would be so cute, but it is.

She is refusing to hang out on her back all day now. I don’t blame her, it had to have gotten a bit boring, even for a baby. Now the days of me putting her down and returning to find her in the same spot are long gone. She hasn’t mastered crawling quite yet. However, she’s figured out that she can just roll herself over and over to move around. If she hasn’t done that, she’s at least rolled over onto her stomach and is probably eating the blanket she’s on.

She finally likes time with me too! I know, I know, she always liked time with me, but her little face lit up so much when she saw her dad (still lights up like that) and now I get those same awed looks!

Some things I want to remember: she’s 19 pounds, 27 inches long. She just opens up her mouth (before her bottle or during solid feedings) when she’s ready for food. She starts to laugh/smile during her “cries” when she knows she’s going to get what she wants. She loves her butterfly singing toy and specifically the cow on another singing toy.

Momma Update

This month (at least today) I’m feeling great and confident. My body feels good. I’m still at my pregnancy weight, but most of that weight is in my thighs and I’m happy with that. I’m working out, I’m working on things that interest me, and I’m feeling that vibe right now.

I didn’t realize how much I truly lost myself in just being a mom. That was my existence. Wake up, take care of anything Little P needs first and myself second. My daughter’s needs are still and always will be first, but now I understand I can take care of myself too. Wanna work out? Involve the little one. She gets so hype when I’m exercising and just looking at her smiling. The work out goes way better because my baby’s happiness hyped me up and she had a good time. Win-win.

I take advantage of the time I can spend away from Little P too though. I feel more comfortable telling my husband that I’m going to take a shower and don’t bother me until I’m done. If she gets fussy and I’m doing something without her, I can just talk to her and let her know I’m on my way and not just rush to her. This might be more of a developmental thing on her end, but I’m taking credit for it!

After Thoughts

This month I want you to realize that your baby has grown up so much, but they’re not the only one. You’ve grown so much too! Your partner has also grown so much! Celebrate the things you’re better at during this time too. Don’t forget you exist just because you have a little one in your life.

As always, let me know what you think!
How are you liking the new look? If you are a parent, did you lose yourself? Tell me about finding yourself again or how you never managed to lose yourself in the first place. Expecting mommas/dadas, tell me how you’re going to celebrate you!

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Postpartum and Beyond

My Hospital Stay Regret

Around nine in the morning on August 29, 2019, my husband, brand new baby, and I were transferred into our hospital room. A short while later my parents arrived. My husband’s mother wasn’t able to visit (I delivered sooner than expected). I adore my mother-in-law, but it was nice not to seem put together for another person.

I’m relatively close with my parents and I’m thankful that they were able to meet their grandbaby pretty much immediately, but looking back at it now, I think I would actually skip out on having visitors at the hospital. I would’ve really liked to use that time to be with my husband and Little P.

Overall, the number of visitors we had was pretty low. My parents and there was a family friend that stopped by. My parents stopped by multiple times throughout the day. The family friend came unannounced with my dad, which I didn’t appreciate, but that’s beside the point.

Every time people came to visit it felt like everything stopped and the focus went to them. I was exhausted, my husband was exhausted, and everyone just wanted to see and hold the baby. At that point, your baby needs to eat every two hours and (if you’re like me) then whenever your changing diapers it’s frustrating and difficult. You’re learning your baby and figuring out how to be a mom. My point here is, you’re not getting a lot of sleep and having visitors takes away time that you could be trying to nap.

I had a natural birth, so we only stayed in the hospital for about 24 hours, not including the whole birth process. I would probably feel differently if we had the C-Section as planned. We would’ve been in the hospital for three to four days. That’s a much longer time to be there. There’s more time to recover (as there should be) and a few friendly faces would be a welcome sight after a surgery like that.

For my circumstances though, I would’ve like to take everything in with my brand new little family and dealt with the greetings and celebrating once we were at home and comfortable. So, for my next baby (if there is a next baby), I think I will ask visitors to please wait until we’ve left the hospital to say their hellos.

So, what do you think? Are you all for the hospital visitors after a birth or do you want your space as well? I’m also curious if you’d be upset at not being invited to come to visit in the hospital.

Updates

Motherhood Changes

Without a doubt, becoming a mother was the best thing that could have happened to me. I had my daughter and she helped me realize that I needed to change. I had no real purpose before her. I bounced around from job to job and while I was nice, I had a really short fuse and showed it. In the months following the birth of Little P, I was able to look at myself and things I wanted to change in my life and finally make those changes.

I don’t think babies are a cure for your life troubles. They’re not a BandAid to fix a relationship or to turn you into a better person. I did not have my daughter and then magically become who I’ve always wanted to be. I still have numerous flaws and I’m still working to maintain the positive changes that I have made. It took me a month (possibly even two or three) to recognize that it was finally time for me to be more than I felt I was.

I’ve become more understanding since becoming a mother. It was easy for me to feel like I was understanding before. Sure, I understood that you had a bad day or maybe the dog didn’t quite understand what I was trying to get him to do, but it was so easy for me to snap and get angry even though I “understood” what was going on with the other person.

Since having Little P, I get it. It’s not a baby’s fault that the only way they can express things is by crying. It’s not always a person’s fault if they’re snapping at people either. As adults, we should know not to snap at people if they didn’t do anything wrong, but it’s also bound to happen because we’re not perfect.

I have also noticed that I tend to take my frustrations out on other people. I’m learning to watch the tone in my voice and learning not to just lash out at people. I want my daughter to be able to have pleasant interactions with people even if she isn’t in the best of moods. I want to be able to model that behavior for her.

Being a mother has made me both more determined and more flexible. Am I going to get her to stop crying? You’re damn right. I’m also going to help her however she needs. If my feet hurt but she wants me to walk her around, then I guess we’re walking. It seems like a given applying it to my child, but the same goes with other things. My husband in a bad mood and I want to cheer him up? Guess what honey? You’re going to be in a great mood, but what do you need me to do to help you get there? Am I going to get the dishes done? Yes. Will it be now? Maybe not, Little P needs attention right now and that’s fine.

Becoming a mother has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. It is an eye-opening experience (as I’m sure becoming a father is). For me, it has helped me make changes to myself so I can be better for my daughter. This has become an opportunity to not only watch how my daughter grows and prospers but to see how I have also grown throughout the months and years.

Some Thoughts

I want to reiterate that having a child is not a magical fix all for any problems. It’s not a baby’s responsibility to make your life better. This is just a personal account of how having a child inspired me to become something more.

So, what are your thoughts? Did having a baby inspire you to make any changes in your life or make you more aware of some less positive aspects of your personality?